


Punching Bag

by BlueBoxDetective



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Abusive!dean, Dean Being an Ass, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gen, Just like he is so far in season 15, M/M, Sam Winchester to the Rescue, To Cas' rescue, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 10:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21196226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBoxDetective/pseuds/BlueBoxDetective
Summary: The fist hits him square in the nose.Cas turns his head to the side, not because the punch affects him physically, but because that’s how its supposed to look when you get hit in the face.He tries to keep the pain down. Not physically, a human fist can’t hurt him like that. But emotionally, he is affected. How could he not be?





	Punching Bag

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before watching the most recent episode (15x03), and maybe I just worked through some pent up anger over Dean behaving like an ass to Cas.  
At least in my version Dean realizes that he behaves like an ass.
> 
> Spoiler for what happens to Jack in the season 14 finale.

The fist hits him square in the nose.  
Cas turns his head to the side, not because the punch affects him physically, but because that’s how its supposed to look when you get hit in the face.  
He tries to keep the pain down. Not physically, a human fist can’t hurt him like that. But emotionally, he is affected. How could he not be?  
He upset Dean. He always does.  
Dean shakes his fist once, then flexes his fingers. He doesn’t say anything, instead reaches for his barely touched beer bottle on the kitchen table.  
Sam stares from the fridge, mouth gaping and his hand hovering frozen on its way to grab something.  
This is new. Dean has never hit him when someone was around. Cas doesn’t know if it is coincidental or if this means anything.  
He doesn’t dwell on it. Instead he gets up and quietly hurries to his room. He will apologize to Dean later, when the man’s anger has faded a bit.

///

Dean acts as if nothing has happened when he casually walks towards the door.  
“Dean.” Sam’s voice is calm, way calmer than he feels. He’s probably still in shock from what he just witnessed. “What the hell was that?”  
His brother has the nerve to shrug his shoulders.  
“It’s nothing.”  
Sam’s eyebrows raise out of their own accord. He places the cheese he has taken from the fridge on the kitchen island and makes his way over to Dean.  
“Did you just hit your boyfriend for disagreeing with you on if you can get Jack back?” Sam can’t keep the judgement from his voice, even though he tries to hide it. He has to be missing something, right? This hasn’t just happened.  
“It just kinda happened. It’s not a big deal.”  
“It’s not a big deal?” Sam echoes, his eyes nearly falling out of his eyes. “What is that even supposed to mean?”  
“We’ll talk it out later.”  
“You make it sound like this isn’t the first time this happened.”  
“Sam, just leave it alone. This is between Cas and me.” Dean makes a move to turn around and walk away. Sam grabs him by the sleeve of his shirt, pulling him back. His brother has a look of pure annoyance on his face, like Sam is the one who just hit his partner.  
“This is not-“ Sam repeats the word to stress it, “not just between you two. Cas is my friend, too, and you just punched him!”  
“He’s an angel, Sam,” Dean rolls his eyes, “I’m a human. It’s not like I can hurt him.”  
“You can’t hurt him?” Sam’s voice raises and his eyebrows shoot up straight to his hairline, “Didn’t you see his eyes right now? Why would you even say that?!”  
Dean doesn`t bother to answer, and it only fuels Sam’s anger.  
“So, when Cas says he loves you, do you think he can’t feel that?! When you guys have annoyingly loud sex, do you think he doesn’t enjoy it?!”  
Dean squints at him and slams his bottle down on the table. “I’m not discussing this with you, Sam.”  
When Dean turns to the door once more, Sam pulls him around by the arm.  
“Oh yes, Dean, we are discussing this. You need to seriously think about what you are doing. And then you need to take action, and do it quick. Because I will not let you abuse Cas. The guy is not your punching bag, Dean, and if something doesn’t change within the next week, _**I** _will do something about it.”  
Dean stares at him with a blank expression before he walks away. Sam lets him.  
But before his brother reaches the hallway, he calmly calls after him: “Don't deal with this like our father would, Dean.”

///

Two days later, Dean starts packing. It’s not like he owns a lot of stuff, so he’s done fairly quick. He drops the bag in front of Cas’ room when he knocks.  
“Come in,” the angel’s calm voice calls from the inside. Dean’s hand shakes when he reaches for the doorknob.  
Cas is sitting at his desk, some leather-bound book on the table in front of him. He turns to Dean with a smile on his face. Dean wishes he wouldn’t.  
The hunter slowly sits down on the angel’s unused bed. He croaks when he finally manages to force the words out.  
“I’m leaving.”  
Cas tilts his head like he always does when he doesn’t understand something right away. His smile falters.  
“Where are you going?”  
Dean shrugs, avoiding the angel’s eyes.  
“Don’t know yet. Doesn’t matter.”  
A piece of his heart breaks away at Cas’ next words.  
“When are you coming back?”  
“I-“ Dean’s voice breaks, and he presses his eyes shut before he tries again. “I won’t come back. At least for a while.”  
The hurt in Cas’ eyes is unmissable. His brows pull together and his shoulders slump.  
“You won’t?” He asks as if he just might have misunderstood Dean. Dean steels himself to deliver the words he has repeated in his mind all night.  
“Yeah, Cas. I’ve been real shitty to you. Took you for granted. I’ve hurt you, for god’s sake. I’ll never be able to make up for it. So I’m leaving.”  
The angel stares at him in disbelieve for a good five seconds before he replies.  
“I don’t want you to leave.”  
Dean swallows. He wants to say ‘I don’t want to leave either’, but this, for once, isn’t about him. He has taken from Cas for months and he has no longer any right to take more from the angel. So he answers how he has prepared.  
“This isn’t about leaving. It’s about giving you the chance to be free. You know, be happy. Sam and you will do great.” His voice breaks again at the end. Dean hates himself for it. He hates that he’s doing it, but Sam has shaken him from his blind stupor. Dean can’t stay. It’s the only thing that he knows right now.  
“Who says I’m not happy?” Cas is not making this easy. He looks like a kicked puppy when Dean wishes he would be angry, scream at Dean for hurting him, ruining his life. But Dean doesn’t get to play victim here. He does not get to be upset about how Cas reacts.  
Dean takes a deep breath as he stands up. He makes his way to the door, ready to leave once he has said his final words. The ones that hurt the most, but are the most important.  
“Cas, I am so sorry. I truly messed this up. And I will never be able to make up for this, but I am deeply sorry.” His voice is barely a whisper. “I need you to know that.”  
Before Cas has a chance to answer, Dean turns away from the hurt look on his face and grabs his bag from the floor. He flees to the garage and jumps into the Impala.  
He doesn’t know where he’s going, what he’s going to do. All he knows is that Sam is right. That he has to keep away from Cas.  
The best thing that had happened to him and that he has ruined for good.


End file.
